The “After” Myth

Oh wow. This is so valuable. I’m going through something similar myself–very, very similar–and I’m experiencing the grief and anger upon getting down 50 pounds. Nowhere near my “after” but closer to After than Before. And now I’ve put 25 pounds back on because I just can’t bear it. I can’t stand the change I’m going through. I have change-fatigue, and this blog post helps me because I can see something now that I couldn’t before I read it: part of my problem is that there is no “tomorrow when everything’s perfect.” There is no tomorrow, there is no perfect. There is only now, whatever that is.

Can Anybody Hear Me?

DURING

After.

It’s here.

In my first post, Before, 3 years ago, I said “I’m not to After yet, but I’m closer to After than to Before.”

I now weigh 117 – 120 pounds (depending on the day), and standing at 5-foot 6-inches, that measurement means that After is very, very here. But, before you congratulate me, dear readers…if I have any…and dear friends and family who I know follow this blog… I have to come clean with you: I don’t feel like I’m at After. I’m terrified of being at After. And, I don’t like that After is here.

After5 2

The tagline of my blog is “uncovering myself one pound at a time.” For most of this blog, I’ve spoken strongly about how my relationship with food and myself was what caused my weight struggles. I stand by that. The thing is, the symptoms have resolved faster than I’ve been able to…

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